Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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