I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
