I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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