He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
