Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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