So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
