We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
