I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
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Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
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Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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