Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
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