I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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