I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
then he tried to convert me to islam
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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