You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
