I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
A+ Viking dick
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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