I CAN MOONWALK!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
