how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
