So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
