I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
