Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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