so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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