I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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