remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
