So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
