quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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