Midget sex pt 2 tonight
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
