she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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