I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
