R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
