I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
