The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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