don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
