Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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