I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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