I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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