i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
