I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just tell him i said nine months
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
