Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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