and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
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First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
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She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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