I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
