if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
