That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
