thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize