I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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