Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
