Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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