May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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