I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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