How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
