Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
