none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
