apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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