Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
