Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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