when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
