She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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