Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
