It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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