Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
why do cheetos always look like penises
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
