There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
