Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
