you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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