Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
