im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
