You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
