We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
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This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
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I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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